FY at the Mall
by Gin Uyoku Kou
Summary: The Suzaku Seishis take their first trip to the mall. But what they don't know is that their arch enemies are coming as well. What happens when you put Ancient Chinese warriors from a book in the mall? Total Chaos. R&R!


(Happy music plays in the background...)  
  
MIAKA: Here we are everyone! The mall!  
  
The automatic glass doors slide open and the group, TAMAHOME, CHICHIRI, HOTOHORI, NURIKO, MITSUKAKE, TASUKI, and CHIRIKO, stares with their mouth forming an O. They usher in and stand there, taking everything in as the door slides shut behind them. As the group moves...  
  
CHIRIKO: Ara, I can't move!  
  
The automatic doors have closed on Chiriko's long train...  
  
TASUKI: I'll take care of it! Stupid doors...LEIKA SHINEN! That'll teach you to mess with Chiriko!  
  
The glass was completely melted off, but the metal frames didn't budge...  
  
NURIKO: Baka, I'll handel this...   
  
With ease, he steps up to the door, and it slides open without him even touching it.  
  
NURIKO: SiGh, I don't know my own stregnth!  
  
CHIRIKO(smiling happily): Thank you Nuriko-san.  
  
Tasuki sulks...  
  
They all decide to split up and go their own way and meet back here in two hours...  
  
The automatic doors slide open again and who should come in but the Seiryuu group...  
  
SOI: Ara, where's Ashitare?  
  
NAKAGO: I left him in the car.  
  
Actually, Ashitare tore open the roof of Nakago's blue convertable and followed them...  
  
ASHITARE: Gruff  
  
SECURITY: HEY! No animals allowed in here!  
  
ASHITARE: whine  
  
Nakago brings out the whip and drags Ashitare outside...  
  
NAKAGO: I told you to stay in the car!  
  
ASHITARE: whine  
  
Nakago sees the torn roof of his car and looks back at Ashitare...  
  
ASHITARE: whimper  
  
(Here Nakago's face is censored because it's too kowai -.-*)  
  
(Sounds of Ashitare howling and Nakago whiping the poor thing...)  
  
SUBOSHI: Aniki? Where do ya wanna go?  
  
AMIBOSHI: To my calling...  
  
The twins go their way...  
  
Soi is gazing at Nakago beating up Ashitare...  
  
SOI: Poor thing...but Nakago...(she blushes)  
  
Miboshi has already gone somewhere...  
  
At Starbuck's...  
  
MIAKA: Tamahome...  
  
TAMAHOME: Miaka...  
  
MIAKA: Tamahome...  
  
TAMAHOME: Miaka...  
  
MIAKA: Tamahome...  
  
TAMAHOME: Miaka...  
  
MIAKA: Tamahome...  
  
TAMAHOME: Miaka...  
  
MIAKA: Tamahome...  
  
The two love birds sip from one drink as they gaze lovingly into each other's eyes...  
  
CHIRIKO: Miko-sama, which way to the book store?  
  
Miaka mumbles some directions...she doesn't know where the thing is!  
  
CHIRIKO: Arigatou!  
  
GNC(General Nutrition Center)...  
  
MITSUKAKE: You're saying this is a store where I can find all the medicine I need?  
  
STORE PERSON: Yes! We have a special right now, if you buy two Gensana, we'll give you one Ginkoba for free!  
  
MITSUKAKE: What's this one with the green label?  
  
STORE PERSON: That one is to improve the quality of your uh "pleasures"...  
  
MITSUKAKE: ...  
  
Music Store...  
  
Amiboshi plays the flue while girls surround him with shining eyes...  
  
AMIBOSHI: Do you have any requests?  
  
GIRL 1: Play (name of a popular song).  
  
GIRL 2: No, play (another name)!  
  
GIRL 3: nO, those are stupid songs play (another name)!  
  
AMIBOSHI still with a smile on his face: Is that the popular cultural song of your tribe...?  
  
But, they listen to him play whatever he wants because he's so cute!  
  
Suboshi scoffs at his brother's admirers and his Ryuuseisui whirrs in annoyance...  
  
A little girl comes and stares at him...  
  
SUBOSHI: Nani?  
  
LITTLE GIRL: What are those things called? (she points at the Ryuuseisuis)  
  
SUBOSHI: They're weapons...  
  
LITTLE GIRL: Can I play with them?  
  
SUBOSHI: They can run through you in an instant!  
  
LITTLE GIRL: Waah! MEAN ONIICHAN!  
  
A shadow falls on SUBOSHI, it's the little girl's father and he looks like he could be the champion among the toughest of wrestlers...  
  
SUBOSHI: gulp  
  
MAN: Are you bothering my little girl?  
  
SUBOSHI: nO NO! I was just telling her she could play with these...he he  
  
The man stands and watch as his little girl plays with Suboshi...  
  
Hotohori has been wondering around an electronics store...  
  
Suddenly he comes into a room and a video camera has shot his image onto a thousand TVs...  
  
He turns around the room and stares...  
  
HOTOHORI: Never have I, in my entire life, ever been so aware of my face...  
  
HOTOHORI: ...I'm so beautiful, it's scary...!  
  
(fuuiin falls with a sweatdrop, well, it's true ^.^')  
  
Soi is seen standing outsdie of...Victoria's Secret... o.O  
  
SOI: Hmmm...if Nakago-sama...then maybe...  
  
SOI: Where is he anyways?  
  
Chriko goes on the escalator to get to the second floor...the directions Miaka had given him had made him go around in circles...  
  
CHIRIKO: Waaah! My train is stuck in the escalator!  
  
NURIKO: NURIKO-SAMA TO THE RESCUE!  
  
Nuriko walks up and steps on the bottom step and with his hands pull Chiriko from the escalator.  
  
CHIRIKO: Arigatou!  
  
FORTUNE-TELLER: Hey you with the blue hair and wierd clothes!  
  
CHICHIRI: Da? Are you talking to me no da?  
  
FORTUNE-TELLER: I'll read your future for you.  
  
After running her hands over a crystal globe...she says ominciently...  
  
FORTUEN-TELLER: Beware...you will be betrayed by your bestfriend and your first love will meet a disastrous end...but from then on you'll look happy...  
  
CHICHIRI: Da.... I think you are reading in the wrong direction no da...  
  
(Poor Chichiri!! *sniff*)  
  
So where is Nakago-sama, all this time...(after he chained Ashitare to the car)  
  
(Oh yeah, Ashitare is making his way to the mall again WITH the bumper of Nakago's car)  
  
Chiriko finally makes it to the book store...walking the shelves, he stumbles upon...  
  
CHIRIKO: NAKAGO!  
  
Nakago looks startled and hides the books he was reading behind him...  
  
(The titles read: "The World is the Pearl of My Oyster","Conquering 101", "The World for the Taking", and "Psychology: How to manipulate emotions.")  
  
The automatic doors slide open again and two enters...  
  
Passerby: GHOSTS!!  
  
Passerby 2: aHHHH!  
  
TOMITE: I told you we should have made a right turn at the constellation for 'Sky Border' instead of left!  
  
HIKITSU: I was the one who told you that!  
  
TOMITE: Oh, let's go then.  
  
HIKITSU: I'm going to be in charge this time, with you, we'll never get to the west!  
  
The two exit...  
  
TASUKI: I hate walking...  
  
BOY: I hate walking mommy! Can we sit down!  
  
TASUKI looks at the little boy and the little boy stares at Tasuki...  
  
BOY: Are you a vampire!?  
  
Everyone turns and stares...  
  
TASUKI: DO I LOOK LIKE A VAMPIRE, YOU LITTLE AHO!  
  
BOY: Look mommy, he has fangs...  
  
TASUKI stalks away, thinking that he would like to gag the kid.  
  
(But Tasuki! The fangs are what makes you so irresitable! -.^ And your fiery personality!!   
  
TASUKI: AAWGH! GET ME OUT OF THIS FANFIC!)  
  
Oooo, almost forgot...  
  
Tomo wonders into a cosmetic store!  
  
SALESWOMAN: Oh!  
  
Tomo looks at her and sees her staring at him.  
  
TOMO: Nani?  
  
SALESWOMAN: Those colors are all wrong for you!  
  
TOMO: What are you talking about woman! White is for EVIL, blue is for STRATEGY, black is for my LOYALTY to Nakago-sama, and Gold is for the harmony of all of those!!  
  
SALESWOMAN: Oh, but what do they make you look like!  
  
TOMO: ...  
  
SALESWOMAN: Let me give you a free trial...what do you say?  
  
TOMO: ...  
  
Nuriko walks by a department store...  
  
SALESWOMAN: HUGE SALE TODAY! MISS, WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO BUY SOMETHING??  
  
NURIKO: (shrugs) Why not?  
  
The saleswoman brings her a few clothes as Nuriko is changing in the dressing room.  
  
(She doesn't knock! The rude obaba!)  
  
SALESWOMAN: AHHH! You're a man!  
  
NURIKO: Woops, (grins sheepishly) guess I've been found out! Well, I gave up cross-dressing anyways.  
  
Well, all good times must end, but not before I add one more thing...  
  
TASUKI: Does this thing spew fire?  
  
SALESPERSON: No, it's a fan, sir, for cool air.  
  
TASUKI: HAH! Some tessen! Mine is much better than yours.  
  
SALESPERSON: Sir, I can guarantee that this fan would be better than any others!  
  
TASUKI: (grin, showing his adorable fangs)Eh? Is that so? Why don't we put it to a test?  
  
SALESPERSON: Certainly!  
  
TASUKI: (still grinning that adorable girn) LEIKA---SHINEN!  
  
SALESPERSON: AWWGH! My fan!  
  
Tasuki walks away, patting his beloved tessen, while the salesperson cries over the hunk of melted metal that remains on the counter.  
  
TASUKI: Nobody can be better than this baby. (wink -siGh-)  
  
And another...almost forgot...  
  
And I've talked about everyone except...MIBOSHI...wha't he doing?  
  
THE MALLS DAYCARE CENTER...  
  
MIBOSHI: Hello children...  
  
(Ahhhh! Get that thing away from them!!)  
  
MIAKA: So, how was everyone's trip?  
  
Chiriko looks happy with his bundle of books, Tasuki looks satisfied, Nuriko does too. Chichiri looks kinda glum, but the happiest are Hotohori and Mitsukake. Hotohori has bought a video camera and SEVERAL blank tapes... ^.^  
  
TAMAHOME: Hey, Mitsukake, what you got there?  
  
Mitsukake holds the bag fron GNC behind him.  
  
MITSUKAKE: oH, nothing special...  
  
(Some bottles of Gensana and various other nutrition stuff...o.0 and a few green labled bottles)  
  
Everybody piles into Nuriko's cool yellow car and drives away.  
  
SOI: There you are Nakago-sama, I have a surprise for you when we get home -.^  
  
NAKAGO: ...(deeply engrossed in his books)  
  
SOI: siGh  
  
AMIBOSHI: I have to go now...  
  
(A dozen or more girls still haging on to him.)  
  
SUBOSHI: Uh, I gotta go now...  
  
(The little girl is still hanging onto him and her father glares.)  
  
SUBOSHI: he he  
  
MIBOSHI: AARGH! Get away from me!  
  
A woman is hitting Miboshi with a purse.  
  
MIBOSHI: I didn't do anything to those kids!!  
  
The automatic doors slide open and Ashitare comes in.  
  
Nakago, seeing the bumper of his precious blue convertable, drags Ashiatre to go outside and beat him...  
  
Tomo comes...  
  
Everybody stops dead in their tracks.  
  
ALL: GASP!  
  
TOMO: Nani?  
  
ALL: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!  
  
TOMO: What? That woman said I looked good!  
  
(I won't tell you what she did to him, i don't want to give you nightmares, let's just say, his original makeup was nothing compared to this!) 


End file.
